Sometimes when I pray and an idea or an image crosses my mind - I have a sense of resonance that exceeds reason or description - a sense of knowing that something is significant beyond my ability to articulate it. Today the word is lynchpin. Dictionary definition: a central cohesive source of support and stability. And that's supposed to be me.
The back story:
I'm really in it now. Full on mid-life. Or maybe it's really post-mid-life. I'd like to think this is the midpoint anyway.
Anyway. The point is I am in a stage of life where I actually have choices. At least some days I do. My life is no longer a pell-mell rush for survival of the scheduled events of my many children's lives. Fact is I only have one minor child left - and he drives himself where he wants to go. I still make his lunch, do his laundry and give him money but otherwise, even he doesn't depend on me so much. So, I can do other things. And I do. But just now, thinking, reflecting, I caught a glimpse of a role as mom that I have not thought of much before. I am/can be a lynchpin. A point of connection, a proactive relationship builder, an opportunity maker for the interactions within my family. We are in the end stage of "big family all in the house together". Prince 85 will be getting married in December. That would seem to be a definite end to "we all live together". And the Princess will be in Europe for the summer and then grad school in the fall - chances are she won't ever "live" at home again. And Prince 83, the oldest, is finally recovered enough from his lengthy illness to start talking about a job and his own place. So, within a couple of months the exodus of our adult children will begin. We won't gather around the dinner table most nights, hang out in the family room with music, tv and laptops. And a couple of the kids are feeling somewhat sobered by that. There's a strong sense that "we will never pass this way again".
As I gave that some thought and some prayer this morning, the word lynchpin came to my mind as a description of my role/response to the place we're in. That I can proactively help my kids - mainly adults now- to make the most of this time in our lives. By putting a little more effort into the role I play in making that dinner time a good time, into the meal and the conversation or activities. Maybe requesting some game time after dinner, suggesting reading a book together at the dinner table, finding ways for us to build those relationships stronger, deeper. To help all of us really LIVE together, while we're here, right now.
