I've been reading an interview with  Bryan Caplan, author of the book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think. He appears to be the  anti–Tiger Mom. “Calm down and have more kids” is his message. (Caplan is a professor of economics at George Mason University.) His position (with references to "twin research")suggests that parents are not particularly important in the long run, shouldn't take themselves so seriously, and should  "focus on enjoying your journey and living every day together to the fullest." His tone is lighthearted and positive - but I see a couple of issues.

  Seems to me we're just talking about the age old tension between nature and nurture. I certainly see that each of my 5 (almost grown) kids was a unique person from birth. And I agree with Bryan that contemporary parents are out of control with their controlling patterns - and that they're stressing out for no purpose. But I can't go so far as to say that parents don't matter - I see the fruit of our approaches, choices and values in the character and preoccupations of each of my 5. The  attitudes they have toward politics, the relational attitude they have to God and church, the moral choices they make and uphold to their peers are the result of our purposeful formation. We have proposed a world view, loved them well and called them to serve each other and the world - and they do. We always understood that they would have a choice in how they would live - its that darn free will thing - and we tried to make an effective case for the choices we desired. And we had a lot of fun too.